


For The First Time

by spacegaystrashcompactor



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Once Upon a Time (TV), The Bronze (2015), X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Angst, Bucky being an asshole, But she tries to do good, Eventual Smut, F/M, Lance tucker being Lance fucker, Readers kinda messed up, Steve needs to get his shit together and come back, Werewolf!everyone else, like LOTS of SMUT, more tags to come, past abusive relationship, past trauma, tagged "for the first time" if anyone's interested in that, there's previews of things to come on my tumblr, vampire!Jefferson, vampire!reader, what even is this, what even is this i'm so sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-17
Updated: 2017-04-07
Packaged: 2018-08-15 13:33:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8058313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacegaystrashcompactor/pseuds/spacegaystrashcompactor
Summary: “You want to know why I don’t let people in my head? Why I don’t open my mind for you guys to help? Because you can’t. Because I chased the white rabbit and fell too deep down the rabbit hole,” you swallowed and stood up, your back turned to him. “And I fucked up my life. For good.”





	1. Chapter 1 - Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I promise Steve and Bucky and Lance and Jefferson are actually in this, this parts just a bit of the readers back story  
> I live off of kudos and comments <3

Logan growled and sniffed at the air as he walked out onto his porch. Something wasn’t right, someone was here. Stalking down the steps and deeper into the woods surrounding his home, he was soon met with the sight of a little girl, no bigger than a toddler.

“What the hell…?” Slowly he approached the child, looking down into bright red eyes, two tiny fangs poking out over your bottom lip. “Look kid, I don’t know who you are or why you’re here, but you can’t be here.”

Blinking up at the man, you craned your neck to get a better look at him. He was big, that’s for sure. And hairy. You carefully toddled over to him, careful not to trip over anything on the ground, and bumped into his legs.

“Papa,” you said happily, wrapping your little arms around his calf.

“What? No. No, no, no. Not your papa.” He gently pried you off of his leg and took a few steps back, growling when you followed him.

“Papa! Up!” Your tiny fists opened and closed as you held your arms out towards him. “Up! Up!”

Sighing, Logan leaned down and scooped you up, growling softly to himself. “Oh, fuck…” He tried to glare as you settled your head against his shoulder, yawning quietly, but he felt his eyes soften and glanced towards the sky. The sun would be rising soon, he needed to get you inside, and quick. 

“Listen here, pup,” he poked gently at your ribs, causing your eyes to glance sleepily in his direction. “You can stay with me for the day, but after that, you’re out of here. Got it?”

Closing your eyes and relaxing in his arms, the only response he got from you was a soft, “Papa…”

—

“And where did you find this little dear?”

“She was just wanderin’ around my woods last night, don’t know how she got there…”

You woke up groggily to the sound of voices, sitting up and trying to get out of the large, thick blanket that was over top of you. You squirmed around a bit before the blanket was pulled off. Blinking against the lights inside the living room, you began to make out the shapes of the man from last night and another man you hadn’t met before.

“Sorry pup, I couldn’t have the sun accidentally hit you, and I don’t have a room with no windows, yet.” Logan winced. ‘Yet’? What the hell did he mean, ‘yet’? 

He shook his head and picked you up, walking back over to the other man.

“Charlie, do you think you could figure out what she was doin’ out there?”

The man nodded and Logan started to hand you to him, causing you to let out a small growl, much like Logan had been doing the night before. Fisting your tiny hands in Logan’s shirt, you glared hard at the other man, who let out a small chuckle.

“My goodness, what a fearsome little creature you are, dear.”

Logan looked startled, did you just growl? Vampires don’t growl. “I don’t know why she…”

“It appears she’s trying to copy you.”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m assuming she’s been hearing you growl and wants to be like you.” He held out his arms towards you, smiling softly.

“Go on to Charles, pup. He’s not gonna hurt you.”

You glared, but slowly let go of Logan’s shirt, allowing him to hand you over. Gently, Charles set you down in his lap, brushing his fingers lightly over your forehead and closing his eyes. After a few moments he jerked away, forcing a pained smile. Logan didn’t take that as a good sign. 

Quickly picking you up, he carried you to his bedroom and set you down on his bed handing you a notebook and a pencil. “Here, play with this, I’ll be right back.”

Shutting the door behind him, he walked back out to the living room. “What did you see?”

Charles sighed, “It was nothing good. Whoever left her on your property, left her there on purpose.”

“What the hell does that mean?” Logan furrowed his brows.

“It means that they left her there in hopes that you would find her and…dispose…of her, or that she’d die when sunrise came.”

“Why the fuck…?” He snarled, baring his teeth.

“She’s small, she’s weak, she’s a girl. In our terms she’d be a runt. They didn’t want her, so they tried to get rid of her,” Charles sighed and frowned, looking up at Logan. “What are you going to do with her?”

“Well I’m not gonna fuckin’ kill her if that’s what your askin’!”

“Logan, you’re a werewolf, you can’t raise a vampire child.”

“We’ll see about that.”


	2. Chapter 2

**1940**

It was the middle of the night when Steve smelled it, the most wonderful scent. Apples and cinnamon. Warm. Inviting. _Safe._ He inhaled deeply and looked around frantically, determined to find the source.

Turning around, he managed to jump out of the way before a small body collided with his, his pupils blowing out as he was surrounded by that delicious scent.

“Sorry!” You yelled back as you ran away, something about the tone of your voice making Steve’s blood run cold.

The scent of fear, your fear, filled the air as thoughts that weren’t his own filled his head. “Wait! Who are you?” He called out, but you were already gone.

He was torn, he was supposed to be meeting Bucky in half an hour, but something about you prevented him from walking away. A low whine left his throat when he realized what exactly had just happened, and when he felt your fear spike once more, he immediately took off after you.

His lungs felt like they were on fire, but he kept going, desperate to find you. Pausing to catch his breath, Steve suddenly heard a noise coming from the end of an alleyway. Slowly pulling off his jacket and tossing it to the side, he softly called out. “Hello? Is that you? Are you alright?” He didn’t get a response, but he could hear your soft whimpers and ragged breathing. Glancing around the street and seeing no signs of Bucky, or anybody else, he shifted and padded softly down the alley, making out your figure crouched next to a couple of trash cans.

You were so lost in your own fear and thoughts that you didn’t hear him walk up. A quiet whine grabbed your attention, causing you to whip around, met with the sight of a scrawny, cream colored wolf with the prettiest eyes you’ve ever seen. ([x](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/28/63/fd/2863fdb5f79138503e0548b25fc26efd.jpg))

He stopped as you growled, a look of fear overcoming your features, bloody tears running down your face from under your sunglasses as you scrabbled backwards, pressing yourself against the wall. Sitting back on his haunches, Steve cocked his head to the side as you hissed, baring your fangs to him. This was dangerous, you could easily overpower him if you wanted, but somehow he knew you wouldn’t. Trying to send out calming thoughts and pheromones, he hoped that you would calm down enough to realize that he wasn’t here to hurt you.

Steve watched as you started to shake, your face losing its scowl as your lower lip began to tremble. He immediately laid down and crawled slowly towards you as you let out a broken sob, not wanting to frighten or crowd you by being bigger than you were.

He stopped when he was a few inches away from you, waiting to see what you would do. Carefully, you sat up and reached out to him with shaking hands, tangling your fingers in his soft fur as he closed his eyes.

“W-Who are you?” Your voice was soft, broken and scared. It broke his heart and he wanted nothing more than to hold you safe in his arms. “Y-You’ve got to get out of here, before he f-finds you.”

He could feel your panicked thoughts as you pushed lightly against his ribs, but he stayed put, gazing up at you with crystal blue eyes filled with sadness. Eventually your shoulders slumped as you choked out a sob, wrapping your arms around his neck and burying your face in the soft fur of his neck, staining it red with your tears.

“I-I’m s-s-sorry… I know I’m probably n-not what you wanted…” You managed to choke out between cries.

So, he was right, you had felt the imprint too. Immediately, he shifted back, pulling your small body to his chest. “Don’t say that,” he murmured into your hair. “You’re everything I could have wanted and more.”

He slowly pulled you off of his chest, wiping at the blood on your face with his thumbs, silently asking if it was alright for him to remove your sunglasses. Carefully pulling them off of your face, he took a chance and leaned forward, lapping gently at the blood with the tip of his tongue, causing a small smile to grace your features.

Once he sat back, you slowly met his eyes, swallowing audibly. “He’s going to find you; you know?”

Steve thought for a moment, from what little he knew of vampires, he knew they most often imprinted with multiple people, so he could only assume you were talking about a past partner. “Let him, I’m not scared.”

He could see your gorgeous red eyes fill with tears again and he immediately pulled you close to him again, wiping your tears away before they could fall. “No. no, no. Please don’t cry. I don’t like seeing you cry, darlin’.”

You squeezed your eyes shut, and took a deep, shuddering breath.

He could vaguely make out two fangs, visible when you barely opened your mouth. Gently, he ran his thumb over your bottom lip, silently hoping that you would open your mouth a little more. “Is this alright?” He whispered.

“Y-Yeah…” You opened your mouth, blushing lightly as he ran the pad of his thumb over the tips of your fangs. He already knew what you were, no use hiding it now. “I-I don’t know how to make them go away yet…”

He jerked his head up, looking at you with wide eyes. “Why would you want them to go away? They’re beautiful.”

A sad look flickered across your face. “I can guarantee that not everyone is as accepting as you seem to be.”

“How’d you get back here, anyway? What happened?”

You thought for a moment, choosing your words carefully. “First time out by myself, I heard something and got scared. So, I ran.”

Steve nodded, knowing there was more that you weren’t telling him, but not wanting to push you. You’d tell him when you were ready. “Can I walk you home?”

“I don’t know how I’m going to get home… I can’t exactly make these go away,” you pointed at your mouth, “and it looks weird wearing sunglasses at night… I don’t know why I thought it was a good idea to go out without my contacts on anyway.”

“I have an idea.”

He stood up, offering you his hand which you slowly accepted. He knew it would be a while before you trusted him completely, but he was happy with this for now. Slipping your sunglasses back onto your face, he gently ran his fingers through your short hair, fluffing it out a bit. Then he grabbed his discarded jacket and wrapped it around your shoulders.

“You smell like a vampire, and while I love it, as you said, not everyone would be as accepting as me. That should help though.” He hugged you, pulling your body close to his for good measure, trying to mask your scent with his own. “There,” he murmured, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as he led you out of the alley. “If anyone stops us, look a bit to the side of them, and don’t speak. I’ll take care of the rest.”

You smiled, knowing what he was hinting at. “What’s your name?” You asked, cocking your head to the side.

A light blush tinted his cheeks when he realized that he didn’t know your name either. “Steve Rogers, ma’am.”

“I’m (Y/n) Howlett.”

“Howlett? You’re Logan’s kid?”

You nodded. “No one knows about me; it’d be too dangerous. But, given the circumstances, I don’t think he’d care that you knew.”

Steve pressed a soft kiss to your temple as he began to walk you home, murmuring soft words as you tensed up when you passed other people, but luckily, no one stopped you and the both of you made it back to your house without any trouble.

Pausing on your porch, you both looked at each other.

“I’ll see you again, right?” He asked.

Your eyes widened as you nodded. “Of course… I’m not doing anything tomorrow night,” you thought for a moment and grimaced. “Or ever, really. If you wanted to come over… There’s tons of space around here, we could walk for miles and not reach the end of the forest.”

Steve smiled. “I’d love that.” And with a soft kiss to your forehead, he walked away. “See you tomorrow night, darlin’!”

Smiling to yourself, you walked inside, stopping when you saw your dad standing by the stairs. He sniffed at the air slightly before looking towards you. “It happened again, didn’t it?” He asked, referring to the imprint.

“I thought you couldn’t smell imprints on vampires…”

“Most people can’t, but you’re forgettin’ how old I am, pup. I can smell most anything.”

You frowned and looked away. “I like him… He’s nice… Safe, and warm. It’s different this time.”

Logan nodded before walking towards you and pulling you into a hug. “I can tell. I just want you to be safe, pup.”

“I will be, papa. I promise.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah! Finally we're done with the intro and can get back to pretty much present time!  
> There's slight smut in this part for like 2 minutes, and angst  
> You have been warned

As time went on, Steve was with you more nights than not. You were there when he was continuously declined entry to the army, and you were also there when he finally got accepted.

“I’m finally gonna do it, darlin’! I’ll be able to help people.”

“I know you will, Steve.” You leaned up and pressed a quick kiss to his lips, determined not to let the tears that you knew were coming fall.

“Hey, hey.” He looked down at you, running his thumbs softly under your eyes, wiping your tears away. “You can’t hide from me, darlin’,” he murmured, lightly tapping his finger against your forehead. “What’s wrong, (Y/n)?”

You took a deep breath, looking up at him as you tried to give him a real smile. “I’m happy for you, Stevie, I really am. I just… Be careful out there. Come back to me. Please.”

He pulled you close to his chest, running his fingers through your hair and kissing the top of your head. “Of course I’ll come back. Nothing could keep me away from you.”

\---

Project Rebirth. You weren’t sure what it was, or how it worked, but somehow, Steve wasn’t your little Stevie anymore. Of course, he was still your Stevie, but he was different. Bigger, a lot bigger. Or, at least he, looked that way on TV. But, he was coming home today for a few weeks! You’d finally get to see your Steve again.

Nervousness began to set in as you got dressed, curling your short hair and pinning it back, swiping on your usual makeup and putting in your contacts.

“Hey, dad!” You yelled, running to the top of the stairs.

“Yeah?”

“Can I roll around in your closet?”

“Yeah, sure, pup!”

“Thanks, dad!” You ran back to his room, slamming the door open in your excitement.

“Uh-huh,” Logan paused, looking up towards the ceiling from his newspaper. “Wait! You wanna do what?”

He just sighed and continued to drink his coffee as he could already hear you rolling around in his closet and bed upstairs.

When you were satisfied that you had no trace of vampire scent left on you, you fixed your hair again and walked downstairs, trying not to let your nervousness show.

“What’s bothering you, pup? I thought you’d be excited.”

“I am, papa. I just…” You nervously bit at your lip. “What if he doesn’t want me anymore?”

At this, Logan put his paper down and looked at you. “Now, you know as well as I do that that’s never gonna happen. That boy loves you.”

“I know…” You sighed and laid your head against your hand. “I just worry.”

“I know you do, (Y/n), but trust me, he still loves you.”

You smiled and kicked your feet back and forth, looking at the clock.

Logan picked up on your nervousness and decided to change the subject. “What about the other boy? Jefferson? I haven’t seen him around here lately.”  
You blushed lightly and looked down. “He’s who knows where, but, things are good.”

Smirking at the blush spreading across your cheeks, Logan raised an eyebrow and shot you a knowing look. “Just ‘good’, huh?”

“You know?” Your eyes widened.

“Bonding’s between vampires aren’t that subtle, pup. And, again, you’re forgetting how old I am. I can smell anything.”

Blushing and smiling down at your lap, you had a dopey grin plastered across your face. “They’re both so wonderful.”

“Does Steve know?”

“Yeah, he was real happy about it.” You thought back to shortly before Steve left, to say you were nervous about telling him you had bonded with a vampire was an understatement. Bonding’s were permanent, impossible to break, even in death. Steve had never had a problem with knowing vampires were non-monogamous, he even knew about your ex, the first person you ever imprinted with, and he never had a problem.

All of your worries, however, were washed away when you saw the genuine smile that made its way across Steve’s face when you told him. He had picked you up and spun you around telling you how happy he was for you.

“It’s funny,” Logan started. “Not many wolves that I know would be too keen on the idea of sharing a mate.”

“Steve’s one of a kind, that’s for sure.”

Glancing at the clock once more, you bolted for the door. “See you later, papa!”

“Hey, wait! I’m going to stay with Charles for the night! Ya got the house to yourself! Don’t burn it down!” Logan just chuckled as you ran outside, hoping you heard him.

\---

“Just tell me who she is.”

“I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about, Buck.”

“Come on, punk, everyone can smell it on ya. We all wanna know who the lucky doll is.”

Steve laughed as he glanced around, looking for any signs of you. “You’ll meet her eventually, she’s just… My girl’s shy.”

Bucky just rolled his eyes and clapped his friend on the back before turning to talk to someone passing by. It was then that he smelled it, the subtle scent of apples and cinnamon, his pupils blew out and he whined softly before breaking away from everyone else, unnoticed by Bucky and the others.

“Hey, Steve, you found h—” Bucky glanced around, not seeing him anywhere, before smiling to himself, he’d take that as a yes.

You waited just inside of the alleyway where you had first met, hoping to see him and catch his attention without having to walk out into the large crowd of people. You turned around, pacing back and forth in the alleyway, when you felt strong arms wrap around your midsection, lifting you effortlessly off the ground.

Turning around in his arms, you were met with those bright blue eyes, and you felt like your heart was going to beat out of your chest.

“Missed you so much, sweetheart,” Steve murmured as his teeth grazed your neck. “So, so much.”

Sitting you back on the ground, you craned your neck up to get a good look at him, your mouth dropping open and your eyes widening. “Wow…”

“What?” Steve smirked. “Do I have somethin’ on my face?”

You stepped forward again, burying your face in his chest as you wrapped your arms around his waist. “You’re so big… I missed you, too.”

He could hear the slight crack in your voice and he lifted you into his arms once more, and began walking down the road to your house, holding you tight against his chest.

\---

The second you had unlocked the door, you were pushed inside, the door slammed shut behind you. Pulling you to his body, Steve’s lips crashed down against yours, his hands immediately finding your hips to pull your closer.

“Making up for lost time,” he murmured between kisses before sucking your bottom lip into his mouth, enjoying the small moans you made as he bit and nipped. You felt the zipper on the back of your dress being pulled down as you both made your way up the stairs to your room.

Sliding his hands under your dress, he pulled back, watching as it fell off your small form, landing in a puddle around your feet. Looking down at you in awe, Steve slowly sunk down to his knees in front of you, running his hands down your back to your ribs, pulling you closer as he peppered kisses over your stomach and hips.

“Wanna take care of you, sweetheart,” he mumbled, his eyes darkened in lust. “Lemme take care of you.”

Quickly following your nod of approval, you were stripped of your undergarments, and led to the bed, the both of you crawling under the covers. Hands and teeth roaming over each other in fits of love and passion.

\---

The three short weeks he was home went by too fast, and soon you were saying goodbye once more. You tried to be strong as you hugged him, tried to be happy for him and not let the sadness show. You tried not to cry in front of him, but he saw right through you.

“Darlin’… Don’t cry.”

“Just come back to me, please, Stevie.”

“Always, sweetheart. I promise.”

\---

You knew something was wrong the second you woke up and it was mid-afternoon. You could feel panic through your imprint. Panic and fear. Then deadly calm, and all the love in the world. Then nothing.

The pain in your chest was nothing like you’ve ever felt before. Clutching at the front of your shirt, you couldn’t stop the scream of anguish that ripped its way out of your throat.

You didn’t register your door slamming open, or Logan rushing in, demanding to know what was wrong. You couldn’t see anything through the bloody tears that streamed down your face as you cried out in agony.

You struggled against Logan as he pulled you to his chest, rocking you back and forth, whispering comforting words that you couldn’t hear as tears of his own fell into your hair.

“H-h-he promised me, papa!” You cried, gripping onto the front of his shirt. “He promised he’d come back to me!” Whatever Logan said in response fell onto deaf ears as you sobbed into his chest.

“I’m sorry, (Y/n). I’m so sorry.”

\---

Steve knew he was going to die. He knew he would have to crash the plane. He tried to remain calm, to not alarm you, he tried to shove all of his love through your bond.

“Find Bucky, I know he’s out there. He’s not dead.” Steve spoke slowly into the comms mic. “Find Bucky. Tell him her name’s (Y/n). Tell him to find her, and take care of her. Tell him to make sure my best girl’s alright. Please!”

Anything else that was said, he ignored, focusing on making sure his last moments were spend filling your bond with love. He could sense that you had started to panic, and it broke his heart because he knew that you knew exactly what was happening.

Steve didn’t register the plane going down, crashing. His world faded to black as he had a smile on his face, knowing that he had you, that you loved him, you were the most important thing in his world. And in his last moments, he made sure that you knew exactly that.

And then it was gone, and everything went dark. And he felt nothing anymore.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Have some Lance Fucker!~  
> And Bucky needs to not be a dick

**Present Day**

There was no way that this was the girl. This could not be the girl that Steve fell head over heels for. Bucky stood outside the gym, watching as you circled around another male, and with his enhanced hearing he could hear everything you were saying.

“Alright, Fucker, I’m gonna say this one more time, in words you’ll understand. Keep your legs open like they’re makin’ all your money.”

“Come on, (Y/n),” he whined. “I’m tired, and isn’t there something much more fun that you’d rather be doing with my legs open, baby?” Lance smirked and looked you up and down, running his tongue over his lips.

“Hmm…” You thought for a moment before swinging your fist forward, which he blocked easily with a scowl. No can do, sweet cheeks,” you grinned. “You lost the bet, now you gotta train with me for a week.”

With a drawn out sigh and glare, he finally nodded at you, as you resumed sparring.

“How much longer?”

“You’re really complain-y today, ya know that?”

“My muscles are on fire.”

You winked as you blocked one of his punches, “You know,” you giggled, “maybe there is something else we could be doing right now.”

Catching him off guard, you managed to land a punch to his chest, leaning all of your weight forward and toppling him backwards. Straddling his waist, you quickly pinned his arms to the ground with a triumphant grin. “Ha!”

Giggling as you sat back up, you were about to get off of him when you felt two hands grab your ass and pull you to the floor as he pinned his hips against yours.

“Who’s winning now, baby?”

“Lance!” You squirmed around, inevitably rutting you’re hips up against the half hard bulge in his track pants. “Lance, that was cheating,” you huffed, pouting your lips slightly.

He just smirked, leaning down and nipping at your bottom lip with his teeth. “Uh-huh, all’s fair in love and war, baby.”

“Love,” you scoffed.

“C’mon, you know you love me.”

“I have no heart to love you with, Fucker.”

Lance stood up, dramatically holding a hand over his face as he reached down to help you up. “I’m offended, (Y/n), really and truly. Don’t you like all that ‘true love, happily ever after’ bullshit?”

“Don’t believe in it, fairy tale happy endings are bullshit.”

Bucky stiffened outside at the mention of your name, you were definitely the girl he was supposed to find. How Steve could fall so hard for someone who looked like she was doing just fine with someone else was beyond him. He could feel the anger radiating off of him in waves as he watched the scene unfold before him.

Why did seeing you with someone else bother him so much? And what was that smell? He sniffed at the air and frowned, it smelled like peppermint and chocolate, the scent alone making his mouth water. Bucky looked around, noticing that no stores were open this late, quickly shaking his head. That wasn’t important right now. He turned back to the gym, glaring at the two of you inside.

“Isn’t that just a little bit depressing, baby?”

“Look at my past love life and tell me it’s not depressing.”

You were taking turns throwing punches and blocking them.

“Do you think he would have liked me?” Lance suddenly asked.

“Who?”

“Steve.”

You blinked, before smirking. “Hell no, and if this is your way of trying to distract me, you suck at it.” Thinking for a moment, you shook your head, dodging one of his punches. “Actually, who knows? He might like you, he likes me, and that’s saying something.”

Bucky’s lip turned up in a sneer and his shoulders raised in bitter laughter. As if Steve would love you after you’ve been with someone else. Obviously “loyalty” wasn’t in your dictionary.

A slight movement outside caught your eye, causing you to look over towards the window, locking eyes with someone you had only heard stories about from Steve. Time seemed to slow down around you and you could feel your breathing pick up as thoughts and feelings that weren’t your own filled your head.

_Confusion. Realization. Disgust. Hatred. Anger._

You froze, overwhelmed with emotions and gritting your teeth as you tried to shut him out of your mind. You had forgotten that you were still sparring with Lance, when suddenly you felt the hard imprint of his knuckles against your jaw, and you were on the floor in an instant.

“Shit, (Y/n)! You were supposed to duck!”

“Huh? What happened?” The pain in your jaw suddenly became noticeable as you rubbed your hand over it, shock evident on your face.

“You didn’t duck, that’s what happened,” Lance growled, reaching down to pull you up off the floor. “We’re done for now, screw the bet. When’s the last time you ate?”

You winced as wave after wave of disgusted feelings invaded your head and you shrugged. “I don’t… I don’t remember? A little while ago?”

“Get over here.”

Dragging you to the bench, he pulled you into his lap and tilted his head, baring his neck to you.

You tried not to look at the prominent vein as you whined. “Lance, I really don’t—”

“We’re not leaving here til you eat, baby.” He smirked and waggled his eyebrows. “There’s always that nice vein between my legs, if you’d prefer.”

With a sigh, you leaned forward, brushing your lips against the pulse point in his neck, your fangs clicking into place instantly. Trying to ignore the feeling of eyes watching you, you sucked lightly, before feeling your sharp teeth puncturing flesh easily. A strangled moan sounded from deep in Lance’s chest, as he gripped your hips harder, pulling you closer to his lap.

_“I just imprinted on a fucking vampire. What the hell?”_

You whined as your hips ground down harder against his lap, and the unfamiliar voice in your head got louder.

 _“Fucking disgusting. I can_ ’ _t believe this. First imprint ever and it’s with a dead thing.”_

Wincing as it all became too much, you tore your mouth away from Lance’s neck with a small cry, bloody tears filling your eyes. Spitting up the blood left in your mouth, grimacing as it dripped down his neck and shoulder, staining his shirt a deep red.

“What’s wrong? What happened? Am I sick or something?”

You shook your head, opening your mouth but not being able to speak, feelings of hatred and anger overwhelming you.

Hesitantly, Lance gathered you up in his arms, pulling you tight against his chest. He was never one to show excessive amounts of affection, but even he could tell something was really wrong. “What happened, baby?” He ignored the feeling of his own blood drying on his neck as he tried to comfort you.

“I think I just imprinted on a guy outside…” you mumbled.

“You sure?” He looked outside, spotting the man sitting on a bench.

“Yeah, feels just like it did with you and Steve.”

Lance thought for a moment, he was failing to see a problem with that. “That’s a good thing, right, baby?”

“Yeah, normally. It’s supposed to be.” You looked towards the window where the man was glaring daggers at you, and you became acutely aware of the blood dripping down your chin. “Except this guy doesn’t like me. And he’s really not happy about all this.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Man, Bucky's got some real issues with vampires, like major  
> Stop being a dickwaffle, dude, Steve would be pissed if he could see you now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics are a flashback, and this chapter is pretty dark in terms of alcohol issues and attempted suicide  
> Y'all've been warned~

“What are you going to do about it?”

“I don’t know. Drink my problems away like usual?”

“That can’t be healthy, babe.”

“When have any of my coping mechanisms ever been healthy, Lance?”

You were still sitting in Lance’s lap at the gym. Glancing towards the window every once and a while to see if the man was still there. He was.

Sighing quietly, you got up, Lances eyes following your every movement. “I’ve gotta talk to him eventually, can’t keep hiding in here.”

“Do you want me to come with you?”

You shook your head and grabbed your sweatpants, pulling them over the shorts you were wearing. “I’ll be fine, I know him. We’ll meet you at home.”

“We? And you know him?”

“He’s Steve’s best friend,” you paused and turned back to Lance. “I’ve gotta bring him back, Lance. He’s here for some reason, he wouldn’t have shown up if it wasn’t important.”

Judging by the look on his face, Lance was torn, wanting to make sure you would be alright with another man who, clearly, didn’t like you, but also wanting to trust you when you said you’d be okay. Finally nodding and pulling you into a tight hug, you were almost sure you could feel him mouthing words at Bucky through the window.

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing, babe,” he kissed your forehead, and with one last glare outside, he left the gym.

Sighing quietly to yourself, you kept your back turned, and sure enough, you soon heard the door opening and heavy footsteps walking up to you.

“What the fuck was that?”

You blinked, turning around to face him. “I’m assuming you’re talking about the imprint?”

He looked at you as if you were crazy. “No, I know what that was. I’m talking about the other guy that was with you.”

A look of confusion plastered itself across your face as you tried to make sense of what he was asking. “You’re… Asking me about Lance?”

“Oh, so he’s got a name? I thought you were supposed to be with Steve,” the look of barely contained rage in his eyes was starting to scare you, but you didn’t let it show.

“I… I am with Steve? Did he not—”

Bucky cut you off with a hiss, baring his teeth towards you. “So you admit you’re cheating on Steve? Who the fuck do you think you are, that punk was head over heels for you, yet it’s clear that you didn’t feel the same for him.”

Okay, that stung a little bit, but you were still confused. “I don’t understand why this is what you’re upset about? Forgive me, but—”

Growling deep in his chest, he stalked forward. “What the fuck aren’t you understanding about this? You think you can just fuck around with people’s feelings like that? Did you even stop to think about how he would feel about all this?”

It finally dawned on you that he knew absolutely nothing about vampires mating habits, and it was fairly obvious that Steve had never told him about you. “I don’t think you understand… Did Steve really never tell you anything about me?”

“What? Like that he was mated to a cheating whore?” He barked out a bitter laugh, pacing around in front of you. You had heard of pack mates and pack loyalty, but you never imagined something like this.

“Look, I get that you’re upset, but you really don’t know what I—”

“I know exactly what kind of thing you are,” Bucky snarled, stepping closer to you. “You only care about yourself and what you can do to make yourself feel like you’re worth something, like people actually care about you! Fuck Steve! You obviously don’t care much for him; he’d drop you so fast if he could see you now. Fuck your family! Do you even know the meaning of that word? What about loyalty? Do you even have a family? If you do, I bet they’d be so fucking proud of you if they could see you now, whoring yourself out to any and every one that even looks in your direction!” He stopped, his face inches from yours as he glared into your eyes. “I know all about your kind, and you’re just like the rest of them. Disappointments and disgraces, all of you.”

Each word felt like a slap to the face, and you grit your teeth together, willing the tears in your eyes not to fall. With a deep breath, you glanced up at him and smiled sadly. “You’re right,” you murmured, turning your back to him and grabbing your bag, knowing it would be pointless to try and explain things to him right now. “I have a spare room. If you want it, it’s yours.”

Bucky growled under his breath and followed you. “I’m only here because Steve asked me to find you, can’t imagine what about you made him fall so hard. Doesn’t seem like there’s much to love about you,” he sneered.

Your fingernails scratched lightly over the jagged scar across your chest as you turned back once more with a sad smile, too tired to fight back. “Again, you’re right, and I don’t have an answer for you.”

Mixed thoughts and emotions ran through his head. His inner wolf was screaming at him to apologize to you, to take back every hateful word he just yelled and show you that he loves you.

He _loves_ you? What the fuck?

He scowled harder at the back of your head. How could you seem so calm after all of that? Part of him wished you would open your mind up to him so he could see how you really felt. If you felt anything.

 _“Shut up!”_ He growled in his head. _“She means nothing to us. She’s not even alive, selfish bitch. She doesn’t deserve us, or Steve, or anyone.”_

Bucky blinked when he saw you flinch in front of him, like you had heard what he was thinking, your shoulders shaking slightly as if you were crying. His wolf whined, but otherwise kept quiet as he tried to ignore the twisting pain in his chest when he heard your soft voice cracking slightly.

“You’re right.”

\---

 You sat at the kitchen table, whiskey bottle in one hand as you stared at the phone in front of you. You could see Lance asleep on the couch, and you made sure Bucky was settled into his room.

Drinking straight from the bottle, you grimaced at the burning feeling in your throat. Letting your thoughts wander.

_You had felt hollow, unable to feel anything. With Steve gone, and now Jefferson, you felt alone in the world. More often than not turning to drugs and alcohol as a means of feeling something. God, how you’d love to feel again._

_This had been going on for the better part of a decade, it was wearing deep on your own body, and heavily on your relationship with Logan._

_“Are you gonna be alright if I leave for the night, pup?” Logan worried, he knew you weren’t alright, and he hated leaving you alone._

_“I’ll be fine, papa. Go see Charles, have fun.”_

_With a final sad glance in your direction, he left, shutting the door quietly behind him._

_Sighing when you went to take a swig from the vodka bottle you were holding and finding it empty, you got up, stumbling your way down the stairs to the kitchen, and Logan’s liquor cabinet._

_Grabbing a half empty bottle of whiskey, you glanced at the clock, barely able to make out the numbers in your drunken state. 4:52. The sun would be up soon, and if this is how you were gonna go, then you sure as hell didn’t want to feel it._

_“Coward,” you slurred at your reflection as you walked into the bathroom and to your medicine cabinet. “’An’t ev’n die bravely. Wanna die ‘s numb as ya feel now. So much for wantin’ to feel again.” The still rational part of your brain knew you weren’t making any sense, and at this point were just talking to hear yourself talk._

_Struggling to open the containers, you swallowed the contents of most of the pill bottles in the cabinet, and made your way back to the living room, almost falling over the floor several times before you made it to the window. Leaning heavily against it as you slid to the ground._

_Your vision was blackening around the edges as you watched the sun start to rise. “’m sorry, papa.”_

_The last thought you had before you blacked out, was that you were finally happy to see the sun again._

_\---_

_Logan knew something was wrong the second he got back into the driveway. He was home early, but he couldn’t shake the nagging feeling in the back of his head that you weren’t okay._

_Rushing inside, his eyes widened in panic when he saw the empty alcohol bottles scattered around the kitchen. “(Y/n)!” He yelled, running down the hallway to the living room. “Oh my god, (Y/n)!”_

_Acting on instinct when he found you passed out by the window, he quickly threw a blanket over you and carried you downstairs to your room, blanching when he noticed the empty pill bottles everywhere._

_“Shit, (Y/n), please stay with me, baby. I need you, pup.” Logan could hear himself blabbering, but he couldn’t seem to stop. Tears running freely down his face. “I know I haven’t been the best dad, but I love you. You gotta be alright, pup. Please don’t die on me.”_

_For 4 days, you didn’t wake up, and Logan never left your side, holding your hand and telling you stories about any and every thing._

_When you finally woke up again, you refused to speak. Or you couldn’t. Logan wasn’t sure, but part of him didn’t care. You were still alive and that’s all that mattered._

_\---_

_“Dammit, (Y/n)! You can’t keep doing this to yourself!” Logan yelled. It had been about a year since your “incident” and you hadn’t gotten any better._

_“There’s nothing wrong with me, I’m fine!”_

_“That’s bullshit, and you know it!”_

_This fight was always the same. The pills, the drinking, all out of hand. He only wants what’s best for you, but can’t he see this is what you need? What you need to feel again?_

_You rolled your eyes and grabbed the nearly empty bottle off your nightstand and stumbled to your closet, yanking clothes off of hangers and stuffing them into an empty bag._

_“Where the hell do you think you’re going? Are you forgetting what happened the last time you were left alone? That stunt you pulled?”_

_You laughed bitterly, the slight buzz you had going on disappearing almost instantly as you thought back to that night. Deprived of the one thing you wanted more than anything else._

_“Glad it was just a stunt to you,” you growled, drinking the rest of the whiskey and tossing the now empty bottle behind you, wincing as it shattered when it hit the floor._

_“That’s not what I meat, pup, you fuckin’ know that. I found you, barely alive, and you’re expecting me to let you go off who knows where, by yourself?”_

_You stopped, zipping up your bag and turning to face him fully, looking up into his eyes. “I hope you’re not expecting me to thank you for that,” you picked up your bag and threw it over your shoulder, pushing past Logan who had a look of shock across his face. “Because I never will.”_

_And within a few minutes you were out the door, walking down the road. You glanced back only once, and you could see Logan watching you from the porch, the broken look on his face being one you’ll never forget._

\---

Lance gently took the bottle from your hand and gestured to the phone in front of you. “You finally decide to call him?”

“No,” you murmured. “Not yet. Been too long, I wouldn’t know what to even say to him.”

With a sigh, Lance pulled you to your feet and helped you to bed, not sure what else he could do besides hold you as you cried yourself to sleep at sunrise.

“m’sorry I woke you up,” you mumbled, trying to keep your eyes open.

“You didn’t, babe,” he lied as you closed your eyes.

He can be really sweet when he’s not putting on the macho man act, you thought to yourself.

“Yeah, I did.” You shifted your cold body closer to him as you finally drifted to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bucky, listen man, don't be a douchecanoe  
> Anyway, net part'll be up soon, and anything not clear in this chapter will make a lot more sense then~   
> I live off of kudos and comments, guys <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mostly a flashback of how Lance and Reader met and how their relationship started out to how it became what it is now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy, Bucky will return in the next chapter <3  
> Kudos and comments give me life ~  
>   
> Oh, yeah, anyone who can guess who "He" is gets free internet hugs and cookies from me

_The faint scent of roses, vanilla, and honey. Sex and passion. It was enough to make Lance’s mouth water as he pushed the girl off of his lap to run out of the bar and find the source of that delicious scent. He whined deep in his chest as it got stronger, leading him behind the building. What he wasn’t expecting to find, was a small vampire sitting against the wall, chewing on a cup of ice._

_Pupils blown out, Lance wanted nothing more than to go over and bury his nose in your neck, content to breathe in that wonderful smell for the rest of his life. However, something about you was making him uneasy, it was like you hadn’t even noticed he was there._

_“Watcha doing over there, baby?”_

_You jerked your head up, eyes blown out in fear. “E-e-eating ice…” Your voice was quiet, scared._

_Lance blinked, walking to sit in front of you and reaching out for the cup. You winced and jerked the cup back to your chest, shakily crunching on another piece. “Come on, baby girl, that can’t be good for your teeth,” he smirked. “If you really want somethin’ in your mouth, I got something a lot better than ice.”_

_He frowned when you didn’t say anything to that, and prodded gently at your mind. It was closed shut, as if you had built a wall up specifically to keep people out, but he could still feel little sparks of emotion. Fear and confusion, sadness and regret. Lance sighed and placed a hand on your ankle, hoping to calm you down enough to see if you even could tell that you two had imprinted. “Why are you chewing on ice?”_

_“He told me to…” you murmured._

_“Who did?”_

_“He did…”_

_Lance sighed. “He told you to eat ice?”_

_You nodded. “Told me to eat what was in the cup…”_

_He glanced down at the cup, then up to your mouth, he could see the pink tinted water running down your chin, your teeth bleeding, not meant for eating such hard things. Thinking for a moment, Lance took the cup from your grip and dumped it out on the ground in front of you._

_“W-why would you—”_

_He cut you off, “Look, no more ice in the cup.” Leaning forward and wrapping his arms around you, he pulled you against his body, burying his nose in your hair and inhaling deeply. “You smell so good, baby.”_

_You were confused. He seemed to actually like you? He wasn’t running away or looking at you in disgust. You didn’t understand, how could someone actually like you?_

_“You’re thinking too much, baby.”_

_Slowly, you let yourself relax and be held. Maybe now you’d actually be safe, again._

_\---_

_“I finally imprinted on someone.”_

_“That’s great, Teej,” he was silent as you sat back up, wiping at the powder under your nose with the back of your hand as you sniffled._

_"Yeah, not really. He can’t love me.”_

_"What do you mean?” You narrowed your eyes._

_“He’s not gay. And he has no interest in trying to make it work out.”_

_“Fuck, that sucks, man. I’m sorry. Guess that’s why you’re here getting high with me.”_

_TJ cracked a bitter smile at this, taking a long drink from the bottle of whiskey in his hand. “You know; I was about to ask you the same thing.”_

_“Hmm?”_

_“Aren’t you imprinted? Why are you out here with me doing this?”_

_You paused and sat back against the bed, feeling suddenly light headed. “It’s just sex. I mean, I’m nothing special and he’s Lance fucking Tucker, for fucks sake.” You could feel your breathing become shallow as black spots appeared in front of your eyes. “It’s not like we have a real relationship, just sex. He may be a fucking Olympic asshole, but he deserves someone so much better than me.”_

_“You’re selling yourself short, who wouldn’t like you? You’ve been together for at least a decade, I’m sure he wouldn’t stay if he didn’t want to.”_

_You shrugged. “The sex is good, TJ. I’m pretty sure that’s all there is to it. Not matter how much I want it to be more, he’s just not that kind of guy.”_

_“Hey, are you okay? You don’t look so good.”_

_Your eyes closed as you felt TJ wiping the blood dripping from your nose with a napkin. “Hmm? Yeah… M’alright.”_

_“(Y/n)? You sure you’re feeling alright.” His eyes widening as he saw how sick you looked, your skin turning an almost greenish color. “(Y/n)?? Fuck!”_

_You tried to open your mouth to answer him, but you couldn’t even muster up enough energy to open your eyes. A strangled choking noise was the only sound you could make before everything went silent._

_\---_

_Lance’s head shot up when he felt your mental connection cut off completely. You two weren’t the closest of people, nowhere near close enough for you to open your mind fully to him, yet you had never closed it off completely. He was always able to catch glimpses of your emotions, to know that you were still there and not hurt. To just feel you in his head in general._

_“Maybe she’s just doing something,” he thought out loud. “Doing something that she doesn’t want me knowing. Yeah, that’s got to be it.” Lance tried to reason with himself, tried to ignore the gnawing feeling of worry eating away at his chest._

_Half an hour of pacing, and his inner wolf just as restless as he was. He had run home in hopes that he would find you when he got there, but no such luck. The sound of his phone ringing startled him out of his pacing, and he quickly answered when he saw your face pop up on the screen._

_“(Y/n)? Baby, where are—”_

_He was cut off by the sound of someone babbling. “Fuck, shit, fucking fuck. You’re Lance, right? You’re the only one she has as an emergency contact.”_

_“Emergency contact? What the fuck happened?!”_

_“We’re at the hospital, just get here soon, please!”_

_The line went dead and Lance felt his blood run cold. He was out the door and on his way before he could even grab a jacket._

_“Where is she?!” Lance startled a nearby nurse as he ran, yelling, into the hospital. “(Y/n)! (Y/n) Howlett.”_

_“Are you Mr. Tucker?”_

_“Yeah, yeah, I am. Lance Tucker. What happened?”_

_The nurse sighed as she walked him to your room. “She overdosed, heavily, on cocaine. Did you know anything about her using? She seemed like a heavy user.”_

_“Seemed?” Lance panicked. “Is she—”_

_“No, no. She’s stable. My apologies for my wording.”_

_He breathed a sigh of relief. “I… I knew she used it, yes. I didn’t know how bad it was, though.”_

_“Tell me, Mr. Tucker, has she had a history of depression, that you know of?”_

_“I mean… Yeah… Why? You don’t think she was trying to...?”_

_The nurse smiled sadly and stopped in front of a door. “We don’t know, but that’s as good of a guess as any. She’s alone in there, her friend left a few minutes ago.” And with that, she quietly opened the door for him, and walked off._

_Lance slowly walked into the darkened room, wrinkling his nose at the too-clean antiseptic smell. He could feel his heartbeat racing as he approached your bed, gently sitting down on the side of it and looking at your sleeping face._

_“I’m so sorry, (Y/n),” he whispered, knowing that you were asleep couldn’t hear him. “I know I haven’t been the best boyfriend. Hell, I haven’t even been a boyfriend. But, all that’s gonna change when you wake up, you hear me? So, you better wake up. You don’t… You have no clue how worried I was when I couldn’t feel you anymore, scared me to death. I just… You have to wake up, baby, I need you. I’m so sorry it took this happening for me to realize it…”_

_Lance couldn’t stop the tears running down his face if he tried. Laying back beside you, he gently curled his body around yours, pulling you softly to rest against his chest as he buried his nose in your hair, inhaling the subtle scent of your imprint._

_\---_

_A slight movement several hours later woke Lance up. Jerking his head down, he almost cried out in happiness when he saw your bright red eyes looking up at him from where you laid on his chest._

_“Lance…? Where am I?”_

_“You’re in the hospital, baby. Scared the shit out of me.”_

_Your eyes widened as you tried to sit up. “Hospital? But, I wasn’t… I didn’t try to… You gotta believe me, I wasn’t trying to hurt—”_

_Lance cut off your panicked babbling and softly kissed your forehead. “I know, baby. I know. I believe you. Please don’t move, you’re gonna rip a tube or something out of your arm if you keep trying.”_

_Eventually, you settled down, leaning heavily against Lances chest as you tried to catch your breath. “I’m sorry, Lance… I know you must have been busy…”_

_He tightened his arms around you, pulling you closer to him. “I’m never too busy for you, baby. I’m gonna try and do my best to be a better boyfriend.”_

_You blinked as you felt bloody tears filling your eyes, and you turned over as best you could, burying your face in his shoulder. “I’m sorry…”_

_“You have nothing to be sorry for.” He took a deep breath, mumbling into your hair. “I love you.”_

_Coughing slightly, you completely relaxed, nosing your way against his chest and pressing your ear against his heart. Shutting your eyes, you slowly drifted to sleep, whispering a soft, “thank you…”_

_Lance knew you couldn’t say it back, yet, and he didn’t mind. Until you’d be able to say it, he’d continue to tell you, every day until you believed it._

_\---_

You groaned and opened one eye, glaring up at the large brick of muscle that had rolled on top of you.

“Whatcha thinking about, baby?” Lance mumbled, kissing your cheek.

“When we first met, and a couple years ago.”

“What are you thinking about that, for?” He furrowed his eyebrows. “I was a dick to you.”

You shrugged and leaned up, pressing your lips to his. “You were, but it’s alright, I liked you anyway.”

“Of course you did, what’s not to like?” He smirked.

“Cocky bastard,” you laughed softly, relaxing back against the bed, groaning softly. “I don’t wanna get up…”

Laying his head on your chest, he wrapped his arms under you and snuggled closer against you. “Let’s not, I’m comfortable, you’re comfortable. I’m not moving.”

“From cocky bastard, to big baby,” you murmured affectionately, carding your fingers through his hair.

“Can’t help it, your boobs are soft, perfect pillows.” His voice was muffled when he turned his head, burying his face into your cleavage.

“Lance!” You laughed and pushed at his head, tangling your fingers in his hair.

A quiet hum was all you got in response as he fell back asleep, and you sighed in contentment, gazing down at his sleeping face. Perfectly content to spend a couple more hours in bed before you had to get up for the night.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, I have no excuse

Lance stood in the doorway, tense and unnoticed by the both of you. Eyes darkening with anger as he listened to the screaming. Your jaw was clenched and you tried to calm yourself down as you glared up at Bucky.

“How the fuck can you just sit there and keep saying that you love him when it’s your fault he’s dead! If you weren’t around he could have focused on telling them actual coordinates, rather than telling your sorry ass goodbye!” He yelled in your face, stepping closer with every word.

Your shoulders dropped and you swallowed thickly, gritting your teeth in anger as you turned away.

“Don’t fucking turn away from me when you know I’m right!”

Bucky reached out to grab your shoulder and Lance was in front of him in an instant, grabbing his arm, teeth bared in a snarl, growling deep in his chest. He opened his mouth but was immediately cut off by more yelling. This time from you.

“Don’t you think I know that?!” You screamed, bloody tears running down your face. The crack in your voice as you sobbed sending chills down both of their spines.

Lance had never heard you so much as raise your voice, let alone scream at someone in broken anger, and his heart twisted in agony at every word, knowing how much it was hurting you. Bucky had regretted the words as soon as he said them, but the completely broken look on your face stopped him in his tracks, preventing him from saying anything.

“Because I do! I know it’s my fault and I’ve been living with it for the past 70 years! You don’t think I’d go back and stop myself from going out that night? Stop myself from meeting him in hopes that he’d still be alive today? Because I do! He’s fucking dead and it’s my fault, and I regret meeting him every day because of that!”

Both men stared at you in shock as you turned around, stomping out the door and slamming it shut behind you.

Things hadn’t been easy since Bucky moved in, the both of you were either ignoring each other, or at each other’s throats. Not for lack of trying on your part. You always tried to make Bucky feel included, at home, and sometimes you almost thought it was working. Then things like this would happen.

“What the fuck was that?”

Bucky let out a soft growl and turned to Lance, face a mix of anger and defeat.

“You know, I’ve never heard her admit that he’s dead, and I’ve been around for years, now. I’ve never heard her get angry, or seen her lash out at anyone. And god knows she’s got every right to. You’re not the only one that’s lost people important to them. You’re not the only one who’s had a bad life.”

Looking away with a huff, Bucky was quickly losing his anger by the minute. Letting out a small sigh, he finally murmured a soft, “You’re right, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t fucking tell that to me, I don’t care if you’re sorry or not. She’s the one that needs to hear it. You imprinted on her, whether you like it or not. You got a wolf inside of you, don’t you? Why don’t you listen to it, instead of your stupid pride, maybe you’d be happier. Now, either you can go find her, or I can.”

Silently, Bucky walked to the door, shoulders slumped as he let himself out to go find you. His inner wolf was restless, whining and begging him to make things right. Sniffing at the air, he was able to make out the subtle scent of your imprint, leading down the hallway and to the stairs. Letting out a small sigh, Bucky made his way out of the apartment building, following the scent down the sidewalk, and stopping when he could just barely make out noise coming from the dark alleyway beside the building.

Soft sniffles and cries were coming from behind a couple of trashcans, and if he listened hard enough, he could hear your cracking voice.

“Everyone tells me he’s dead… That the imprint’s broken and that’s why I don’t feel anything anymore. That I’m just lucky to be alive with him dead… But he’s not dead… He can’t be. He promised he’d come back to me. I know he’s out there somewhere… I know he is. But… Would he even still love me when he gets back? I’ve changed so much… He probably wouldn’t want anything to do with me anymore.”  
Bucky could feel his heart shatter as he watched you pet a cat that had walked up, running your fingers through its soft fur while crying. Before he realized what he was doing, he was walking over to you and kneeling down, pulling your shaking body against his chest. “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.”

You were startled, so lost in your own head that you hadn’t noticed him walk up. Slowly you began to relax, sensing he wasn’t there to hurt you, and gently wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders. “It’s alright… You didn’t say anything that wasn’t true.”  
His grip tightened around you as he stood up, settling you down on your feet.

_You got a wolf inside of you, don’t you? Why don’t you listen to it, instead of your stupid pride, maybe you’d be happier._

“Nothing I said was true… It’s not your fault that he’s gone. I was just being a dick.”

Eyes widening as you started to cry more, Bucky let out a soft whine and leaned down, rubbing his nose against your cheek and lapping at the tears that kept falling. “Please don’t cry, I’m so sorry.”

Eventually you shifted your way closer into his arms, burying your face into his chest. You didn’t know how long this was going to last, before something would happen and the next fight would come. But, for now, you were content just being here, feeling safe from the world, even for a few moments.

After a few minutes, Bucky let his hands wander up and down your back, trying to relax you, sending out as many calming pheromones as he could to get you to stop crying.

“I’m… Willing to try… Us. If you’d want to.”

Your response was so quiet, he thought he might have misheard you, if it wasn’t for the way you were gripping his shirt even tighter.

“I’d like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok! Wooo  
> Sorry for the long wait and the short chapter 
> 
> I'll probably go through and edit it tonight, I just wanted to have something up for you guys
> 
> Anyway, I live for kudos and comments ~ thank you to everyone who's still here after my hiatus
> 
> Oh! Also! Special appearance next chapter ~ Whoever could it be? ~

**Author's Note:**

> I'm buckyswintersmoulder on tumblr! Come talk to me about fics ~


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